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Jounral - "Fixing It"
It's another work day and am using Toronto's public transit for the commute. There are busy crowds, but the atmosphere is nice. Transit people seem content with life. Happy. So even though I don't know anyone, I feel good. I think about project strategies, and come up with some of my best ideas on transit. Sometimes I look up at the ads. "Go get more education." "Go get this beauty product." "Get some exercise." All of a sudden I start feeling rather inadequate. Am I really in need of all this fixing up? Fixing up is a strain, and eventually we collapse from exhaustion. We all have a motive and drive to be something. For years I was confused on where exactly I was heading. What did I need to be to be perfect. As much as I was born feeling perfect, as we all were, I quickly lost that acceptance. When I reflect on the messages I heard growing up, they were all negative. "NO." "That's wrong". "You're ugly." "You're stupid." etc. I don't remember anything said or done telling me that I was okay and loved. All I remember is fear. I concluded that "fear is needed to get you motivated, so you can fix all the bad things about yourself." That was my life philosophy. So my life was about fixing things. "The world needs to be fixed." "I need to be fixed." I worked with immense intensity, fixing my education, career, relationships and creativity. "Fixing creativity" - that does not even make sense. Creativity is an essence. Then again so am I. So there is nothing that needs changing or fixing. Our purpose is to evolve into whatever we were meant to be. We grow by nurturing the DNA and spirit within. These cannot be changed. Change or fixing destroys the root of what we are. A root destroyed means collapse and death. Now I am changing my paradigm. I affirm that I am perfect, whole and complete right now. Then I do not need to strain to achieve things. I let myself flow with Nature's meridians, by listening carefully to them. This way I can see and accept what I need easily. I grow healthy, success to success, and sparkle. Life has become a joy. I look forward to each new day, and trying new things. blog by Anda, spring 2011 Jounrals Home |