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Jounral - "Being Introvert. Where is Home. Lonely Success."
THE INTROVERT IN ME
Yes, I have a degree in psychology. No, I do not believe in labeling, because people then draw rigid boundaries to that label, which is inaccurate (pun intended). As beings, we are “a little bit of this” and “somewhat of that”. The attached article is about “introverts”; and I find myself feeling that I am “somewhat like that.” http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/ I find myself in the company of introverts, by choice, because I enjoy their company. Introverts tend to be good innovators, because they are predisposed to listen and integrate. It is this part of introversion that is most fun. Looking, real time, and appreciating what’s there. There is lots of genuine happiness and laughter. I only genuinely laugh with introverts, and I laugh every day. I like people. I like things. And then I like to analyze and create. I do this everyday as well. I always laugh with myself when doing creating or figuring out something. Things are funny. I find that extroverts try to control fun, which cannot be done. Fun is spontaneous, and it is easy to be that as an introvert. Because I take in stimulus like a sponge, I have to do it intermittently, otherwise there is too much, and I will start blocking, desensitizing. Being desensitized is boring. No more laughing. If the stimulus itself is repetitive, I quickly go in a daze, a hypnotic-like trance. This is very obvious, as my eye sacades stop. In the article, it talks about how much we introverts suffer at people chatting about nothing. This is why. I am in a state where I am neither awake or asleep, so I am doing absolutely nothing. What a waste. I find that myself, as well as other introvert friends, tend to do things just as it is needed. Communicate what is absolutely necessary, as just explained, or say nothing. Eat, only when needed. Exercise when it is needed. And, of course, party, when it is needed. Once in a while, over doing it at a party, or spending girl-time chirping all night about nothing, feels really good. But for me, it is an event, not a lifestyle. The article defines current society culturally based on groups with extrovert type personalities. I find extroverts in a group even more puzzling than individually. Study groups are draining in time and energy. I get nothing and spend time teaching others and doing others’ assignments. I always avoid these!! Social services are draining and distressing, as it becomes clear that I listen, and the “counselor” talks of their problems. I went to get counseling to talk about my problems for a change. It never happens. I always avoid these!! Support groups are a magnified version of the single “counselor”. When I am vulnerable and on my last legs, the last thing I need is to have a whole pile of people dump on me. I always avoid these!! Team building and bonding. I have no idea what is fun about these activities. It is the most confusing and convoluted form of human interaction I know. I always avoid these!! If I am avoiding all these groups, what do I do? Well, whatever I want. After all, us introverts are the innovators. I find kinship with kids, who are charming in there innovations and zest for life. I tend to come up with activity ideas. When I am not organizing something, nothing happens. It can be my own activity. It can be a group activity. In groups, I am not interested in control or being part of the “in crowd”. I’m a good decent person, so there is nothing to prove. If people want to join me in my activities, that is fine; if not, that is equally fine.
THE DISTRESSED INTROVERT - WHERE IS HOME?
So by now one understands that us introverts enjoy our “me time”. We usually are working on some project in our me times, but sometimes we are by ourselves because we are distressed. There is no way we will interact with extroverts now. However, studies suggest that isolation is a bad thing. It’s said that getting help, being with others, and support groups are best resource to get us through tough times. So why is it that I feel completely drained after receiving “social support?” Because I am an introvert. The extroverts talk, the introverts listen. The extroverts talk about what needs to be done. The introverts do the work. Clearly, the introverts are overworked, an we need to recharge. If all support groups, study groups and working groups drain us further, we can become critically sick, both physiologically and psychologically. Extroverts are self-righteously surprised that we would get drained, because they themselves feel better using the group. i.e. us. At some point, many introverts will disappear somewhere, and hopefully get better on own. Support does not exist for introverts, in an extrovert world. Worst, extroverts have no ability to understand this. I ask myself. Is this right? Is this the way nature works? Is this Nature’s wish to have two classes. The extroverts, the masters and the introverts, the slaves? That is how it feels in this extrovert world. The slave. I can act like an extrovert if I have too. This would be my “business talk” and “chit chat talk”; but I have to come back to my foundations, my home, myself. Finally I came up with a solution. Groups are okay, as long as they are introverts only. I get the practical energy from introverts, and the spiritual energy from being in company of people. I can only take in that energy if I am not defending myself, which would be the case amongst extroverts. The social services in communities, businesses are counter-productive. I am content and happy when “home” is geographically close to introverts, near innovation centers, not business or community centers. “Home” is where I can recharge my batteries.
LONELY SUCCESS
The following video is about the loneliness one can feel when successful. Done by band “Brainstorm”, they thought of Greta Garbo, and how she isolated herself from the rest of the world after her success. Being extremely successful, means being misunderstood. At least when you are by yourself, you are not misunderstood. >>>Defining success, “All is well, only; this is such a lonely feeling.” I have done successful things myself. I have been in company of others while achieving even more. That often means, being the best in the world. However, beyond the immediate happiness, this quickly leads to loneliness. The loneliness is from being misunderstood on two fronts. People cannot grasp technically what was done. People cannot grasp the process taken to achieve this. This process is often the ones introverts use. Introverts tend to have highest achievements in things requiring skills and brains. The world may decide to put you on a pedestal, but most great discoveries and accomplishments, the world does not care about. Everybody is too busy trying to be the best. To be a “sports star” or “president”. Who has time to listen - the thing that introverts do. I often wondered why the general population puts so much time into meetings, discussions, programs, workouts, feel good motivations, and money into being the best; but never want to listen to people who have succeeded. Coming across the “introvert” definition, it became clear. Extroverts do not have the capacity to understand introverts. So the extroverts have already decided what the introverts did to succeed. For example, Canada’s “Road to Podium” program is designed to develop world champions. Waterskier, Whitney McClintock, was being told what to do to become a world champion. The catch is, she IS the world champion. No matter how many times you tell them, they still insist that she has to do the program to become the champion. The program is run in a business style, which is an extrovert style, with extrovert principles. Extroverts listen to themselves, while introverts listen to everything. Success is lonely in the extrovert-biased word we live in. However, it is beautiful and bright within the larger Oneness, and with the company of other introverts. “The most misunderstood people now, have monuments built for them later” /Palmer/ founder of chiropractic blog by Anda, Sept 2011 Journal Home |